FAIL: COSTCO

Costco
PO Box 34331
Seattle, WA 98124

To Whom It May Concern,

On Thursday, December 8th, at approximately 6:30 PM, I attempted to return a defective item to your Boise, ID location, store #761. The Membership Manager, I believe his name was Richard, refused to honor your policy of allowing me to return any item that I am dissatisfied with. The defective item was a Seagate Flexgo Hard Drive and was being returned in accordance with all of your posted return requirements.

In short, your manager was rude to me; and he was even going to open a brand new item, making it unsellable, just to make his case for why he was refusing my return.

I successfully returned the item to the Nampa Store the following morning without any difficulty. But I am offended by your managers actions towards me; and have since learned that he placed an administrative hold of some kind on my membership. I don’t know what this means, or what implications it might have if I had any intention of ever returning to your Boise location.

To resolve this matter, I would like to receive a written apology from the Membership Manager that was so very rude to me. I would like the administrative hold removed from my account. And I would like for the manager in question to receive remedial training in Customer Service and your Returns Policy.

FAIL: CLEAR

Tried to upgrade my modem with Clear today using Online Chat. Chat Transcript Follows:

>>>
Chat Transcript
Hello Michael. Please wait while we find a CLEAR specialist to help you.
Your question is: Can I upgrade my current modem to a modem with WiFi built-in?
You have been connected to Leigh.
Leigh: Michael, thank you for chatting with Clear. So I can help, may I please have the 10 digit phone number on the account?
Michael: [Redacted]
Leigh: Thank you for that information, let me try pulling up your account.
Michael: My Customer ID is [Redacted], name on account is [Redacted].

Leigh: Thank you for patiently waiting. How may I assist you?
Michael: Can I upgrade my current modem to a modem with WiFi built-in?
Leigh: One moment please. let me check the account
Leigh: I would be happy to help you further. Would you verify the account please by telling me the name of your first pet?
Michael: [Redacted]

Leigh: Thank you for providing me the security answer. There is a $40.00 upgrade fee for the modem plus the 9.95 shipping fee of the device
Michael: It's just the upgrade, no other monthly service fees?
Leigh: service not yet included. but it depends. if the modem will be purchased. there will be no contracts,no upgrade and shipping fees
Michael: I already have service. I want to give you back the modem I have and use the modem with WiFi instead.
Leigh: micheal. there is still an upgrade fee even if you will be returning the old modem
Michael: I understand. What I'm asking is if my monthly bill is going to change AFTER I pay the upgrade fee.
Leigh: oh sorry. it depends upon the rate plan that you choose
Leigh: but just to set your expectations. it must be $40-$50.00
Michael: I've verified my account with you, can't you just look it up and give me a straight answer?
Michael: My monthly bill is $40.29
Leigh: like what i have said sir. it depends upon the rate plan you choose
Michael: Seriously, you know my security answer and not my rate plan? How about if you transfer me to someone that actually wants to work today.
Leigh: XX_Account Services WiMAX Unlimited Home $35.00
Leigh: that's your rate plan
Leigh: Please keep this conversation as professional as possible, so that we can help each other.
Leigh: Seriously, you know my security answer and not my rate plan? How about if you transfer me to someone that actually wants to work today.
Michael: Please transfer me now.
Thank you for visiting clear.com. You may now close this window.
Your session has ended. You may now close this window
>>>

So I was disconnected for asking to be transferred to someone that wanted to work today. I believe I was both polite and professional given how many times I had to answer the same questions and repeatedly explain what simple answers I wanted.

Clear works, but don't expect any Customer Service. That sucks as much at Clear as it does pretty much everywhere. The only real question is who do you want to fight with today? Clear, or someone else?

Meanwhile, Clear could have made some money off of me today. As it is I'm reconsidering just how much I need Clear. And the answer is that I really don't.

UPDATE

I contacted Clear again to register my complaint and hopefully resolve the problem. But the Supervisor chose to simply disconnect me without so much as telling me she was going to do so. Chat Transcript follows:

>>>
Hello Michael. Please wait while we find a CLEAR specialist to help you.
Your question is: I'd like to speak to a supervisor about how I was just treated using "Click to Chat"
You have been connected to Manny.
Manny: Thank you for visiting Clear. So I can help, may I please have the 10 digit phone number on the account?
Michael: [Redacted]
Michael: I'd like to speak to a supervisor please
Manny: Can I also have your first and last name, please?
Michael: My name is [Redacted]. Name on the account is [Redacted]. Customer ID [Redacted]
Manny: Before I can transfer you with my supervisor, can you first tell me what is your inquiry?
Michael: I was treated poorly while using this chat tool and I'd like to file a complaint about the person that treated me poorly.
Michael: The entire transcript is published here: http://www.michaelworth.com/fail_clear.shtml
Manny: Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention, and I am sorry to hear that you are having this concern.
Manny: Thank you for chatting with me today! Please stay in the chat window while I transfer you with my supervisor.
Supervisor Joni has entered the session.
Supervisor Joni: Hi Michael! This is Joni, one of the supervisor on duty.
Michael: I've published my complaint here: http://www.michaelworth.com/fail_clear.shtml
Michael: I'll wait while you get caught up on that.
Supervisor Joni: I understand that you would like to complain about the treatment you had with one of our agent, right?
Michael: Yes. Details are here: http://www.michaelworth.com/fail_clear.shtml
Supervisor Joni: Thank you for bringing this matter to us. I understand your concern.
Supervisor Joni: Let me check on that. Please give me a few minutes while I'm reading on it. Thanks.
Manny has left the session.
Thank you for visiting clear.com. You may now close this window.
Your session has ended. You may now close this window.
>>>

Wow! Just put Clear at the top of my own personal list of Worst Customer Service Ever!

UPDATE (9/2/2011)

I went into the Clear Store located at 130 N Milwaukee St. in Boise. I took my home modem in and told them that it was no longer meeting my needs and that I wanted to replace it with something more portable. I was told that "this store doesn't provide Customer Care" and that I'd have to call the 800# if I wanted any help with that. Are you freakin' kidding me? This big, beautiful store is only for selling contracts - NOT servicing them after the sale?

So I proceeded to ask a couple of questions about the portable options, thinking that it might make the inevitable phone call just a little easier. But it didn't. He didn't know anything about any of the portable hot spots that Clear offers. Or, at the very least, he couldn't answer the one very simple question I had: “Does the new Apollo Spot have an ethernet port on it?” Nor did the store actually have one that either one of us could look at.

At that point he turned around and went back to surfing the web, completely ignoring me. It was as if I'd become completely invisible. He couldn't even be bothered to tell me not to let the door hit me on the way out. Realizing that this was a complete waste of my time, I did exactly that.

FAIL: USPS

My complaint to USPS regarding multiple failed deliveries:

When I first received the "Sorry We Missed You" notice I was home. No one knocked. And no one rang the bell. The notice was simply left indicating signature required with no attempt to deliver.

So I signed the notice, chased the delivery person down the street to explain that I was home at the time the notice was left and that had he bothered to knock (or ring the bell) he would have known that. His only reply was that they'd deliver it the next day.

Next day comes and I'm once again at home all day waiting on my package. No knock. No ring, No attempt to deliver. And I find the same notice in my mail box that I already signed. This time covered in red ink changing it to registered from signature required. Same problem. I was at home all day and no attempt was made to deliver the package. Only a note saying I can go pick it up in person on 5/2 after 10am.

TOTAL FAIL! You guys SUCK! You don't need another rate increase. You need to fail and go out of business so a competent company that understands customer service - and that people need their mail - can replace you.

The case number for this complaint is: HQ105074947

FAIL: Excalibur Hotel and Casino

3850 Las Vegas Blvd. South
Las Vegas, NV 89109
(877) 750-5464

About a week ago I was given just 12 hours notice that I would need to take off for Vegas for about 4 days. Since I needed to keep the costs down where I could, I decided to give the Excalibur Hotel and Casino a try. The rooms were inexpensive, and the hotel is conveniently located for my specific needs on this trip. Sadly, that might be the nicest thing I have to say about the Excalibur Hotel and Casino.

Upon arrival I discovered that I'd have to park far away from the Hotel to check-in, unless I'd like to pay for Valet Parking. I did not. I needed to have easy access to my truck, and I didn't need the added expense of having someone else park my truck. Furthermore, I preferred to have my truck in the garage. The Valet Parking is outside. This meant I'd be parking across the street from the farthest side of the Hotel & Casino possible in relation to the location of my room. And that I'd have to schlep my bags on my own, without the benefit of one of hotels luggage carts as they were reserved for the Valets. Several trips and a Jericho Mile later I made it to my room.

Like most Hotels and Casinos in Vegas, the check-in line is long and it moves slowly. But unlike the more modern hotels on the strip, the Excalibur is doing nothing to abate the smoke in the building. The whole place reeks of it. You are going to have to stand in it to check in; and then walk through it to get just about anywhere while you are there. If you are a non-smoker, chances are you are going to hate this place for the smoke alone. I know that Vegas is something of a Smoker's Paradise, and that it's something us non-smokers must deal with when visiting Vegas, but there are definitely other Hotel and Casinos where the smoke is being dealt with much more effectively.

Upon settling in to my room for the evening I noticed that I'd been given a coupon for $10 off tickets to the Tournament of Kings Dinner Show. Since I purchased my tickets online the night before I wondered how I might go about getting a credit for the coupon. When I inquired about that the next morning I learned that I could refund the tickets I had and buy other tickets in seats that weren't as good. Not because certain seats were unavailable for use with the coupon, but because that's the only way they could do it. I liked the seats I had and didn't want to change them; and the computers and/or their operators left me uncomfortable about doing so anyway. So I asked for a credit to be given to my credit card for the amount of the coupon, or even a casino credit for the same amount. But nothing doing. If I was going to benefit from the coupon ($30) I was going to have to give up my good seats and sit somewhere else. No Thank You.

So I sent a quick tweet in an effort to reach someone at the Excalibur that might be able to put and end to all this nonsense and make me happy. And while I did receive a quick return tweet asking what the problem was, I was from that point forward ignored by @ExcaliburVegas. And the problem remains unsolved to this day.

Another problem we encountered was a lack of internet service in our room. We were charged a resort fee for each day of our visit, and part of that fee was to pay for Internet access. We never had any internet during our stay. Likewise, the safe in our room did not work.

Perhaps the most unsettling thing about my stay was the constant trash and dirty dishes that remained in the hallway outside my room for periods of up to 24 hours. One of my neighbors was apparently a fan of room service because there was never a time I walked down the hallway and didn't see dirty dishes outside his door. They were always there; everyday, all day. They changed from time to time, but there were always dirty dishes on the floor waiting to be collected. I also found plenty of trash like cigarette wrappers in the hallway. The common areas simply aren't being kept clean. And if they aren't clean, how clean are other areas of the hotel that are less visible? How clean is the kitchen preparing the meals that used to reside on all those dirty dishes?

Housekeeping did an okay job on keeping the room clean. For the most part they don't bother arriving until about 3pm, probably taking care of the rooms that are being vacated first. And they didn't make a lot of effort to make the beds to the same standard on a daily basis that they do when you are checking out. But overall I found the service to be acceptable.

We didn't spend much time in the room, and I suppose very few people do. But my wife likes to turn the TV on for a short while when returning to the room at night to wind down a bit before turning in. Think was, there really wasn't any TV. Just ads and infomercials. No real TV channels to be found.

I imagine that most hotels of this size have a problem with water pressure; and probably lack tubs for the same reason. But it's worth mentioning just the same. The water pressure sucks; the fixtures in the bathroom are old - like everything else; and there is no tub. I didn't miss the tub, but my wife did. And you might too.

Then there's the Time Share Sales people. They are all over the place, in the Excalibur and on the surrounding properties. Good Grief! I must have been offered show tickets in exchange for a Time Share pitch 25 times! Which is probably another reason not to buy show tickets online. Just find a salesperson, take the tour and enjoy a free show.

Just prior to checkout, while making multiple trips across a Jericho Mile to get my bags back to my truck, I was approached by a panhandler in the hotel (rode the elevator with him twice before being approached) for $17. On my way out I reported the incident to security and for the most part got ignored. Again. But that seems to be the theme here.

WINNER: Shark Helmets

It’s a rare occasion when Customer Service actually exceeds my expectations anymore. But Tucker Rocky Distributing, the US distributor for Shark Helmets, has done that in a big way.

Not long ago, I dropped my Shark Evoline helmet while working in an intersection. The helmet bounced and then broke the slide mechanism for the internal sun visor. The top of the helmet was also scratched.

Since I paid a lot of money for this helmet, and I really like it a lot, I wanted to see if the helmet could be inspected to ensure that its protective qualities had not in any way been damaged; and to learn if the broken parts could be repaired. So I contacted Shark via their web site, after which I very quickly got a referral to Tucker Rocky Distributing, and a reply message from Tucker Rocky Distributing asking me to return the helmet to them for inspection.

I returned the helmet to Tucker Rocky Distributing and waited. There was no communication from anyone, and my email inquiries received no answer. This frustrated me a bit until I received that unexpected knock at the door for the delivery of my helmet just about 2 weeks later. I was shocked to learn that Tucker Rocky Distributing had repaired my helmet at NO COST to me!

And not only did they repair what was broken, they also upgraded some other components in the helmet to the new Shark Evoline 2, which totally fixes the couple of things that always bugged me about the helmet.

They not only fixed my favorite helmet, they made it better by upgrading parts that were not damaged in the first place. And that’s a big WIN for Customer Service!

FAIL: Radio Shack

Is it any wonder that Radio Shack is on the auction block? They abandoned the core business model that they built their success on; they charge way too much for just about everything; and customer service doesn't even include the usual insincere apologies anymore. Let me explain:

Their core business model included radios and tiny little specialty electronics parts that you really can't buy anywhere anymore, including Radio Shack. And, for just one example, you can buy 500 feet of coaxial cable at Lowe's for what 50 feet will cost you at Radio Shack. But that's not the kind of stupidity that get's me fired up enough to blog about my experiences at a company. No, it's piss poor customer service that gets me pissed off enough to write these days. This is my story:

I recently purchased an HTC Sprint Evo, and I knew they'd be in demand, so I did some homework the day before release to determine my best course of action on the morning of the release. I visited several stores, including my local Radio Shack. I learned who had how many in stock, and who was offering the best rebates. At the end of the day I decided that my local Radio Shack would be the best place to make that purchase. I was told that they had two in stock that would be available "first come, first served"; I knew they opened at 9am; and I knew I could get there early enough to get one. And so I did. Almost.

I was the second to arrive at approximately 8:45am that morning, and knowing that they had two, I wasn't concerned a bit about being second in line. I waited patiently for the store to open and claim my prize. But it was not to be. The fools managing this store thought it might be a good idea to "sell" one of their phones to another store before they opened, depleting their own stock to just one, and leaving me out in the cold. Literally.

Having knowledge of another store that also had two in stock, and knowledge that they didn't open until 10am, I asked them to sell me one of theirs. After all, if another store can buy the one that should have been mine long before this store even opened, then I should be able to buy one from another store, long before they opened and make it mine. But the store staff was very reluctant to help me in this manner. They were far more interested in selling me a phone that they could ship to my house sometime next week. I was able to get them to call the other store, but that call went unanswered. And I was offered no less than three times the opportunity to buy a phone "direct to home" instead. No thank you. When you treat me this poorly you don't get to sell me a phone.

So I complained to @RadioShack (they were @The_Shack at the time of my compaint) and received a quick response asking me for details via email. They very quickly sent me the usual insincere apology and told me that I should expect a response from the local District Manager no later than Monday. Which I did receive quite promptly later that same day; he even held an Evo for me; but as I said before, you don't get to sell me a phone after treating me like that.

The local DM also pointed out (erroneously) that many Idaho retailers and Sprint stores were sold out as early as 8:30 that morning. But I found one elsewhere that day at 10am; and I even found one across the street from my local Shack at the Sprint corporate store as late as 4pm that day.

Still no apology, sincere or otherwise, from the local DM who asks me to "please excuse any terseness", as his replies are being sent from an iPhone. Which, if I'm not mistaken, aren't even sold by our local Shacks.

So like I told @RadioShack, "that's the end of my relationship with Radio Shack". I'm done with them, and for the most part they're done with all of us, also. Someone that knows something about business will buy them out and we'll all still be without the things that made that store a success all those years ago.

"The Shack", as they've grown so foolishly fond of calling themselves, is toast. And they won't see another dollar of mine, ever!

WINNER: Mystique Dining

When I first started reporting on my Customer Service experiences, I promised that I would try to recognize both the good and the bad. And while it's been overwhelmingly easy to remember and report on the bad; the good has been considerably less notable, if not completely forgettable. That's not to say that I haven't had good service at other places that I've failed to mention, because I most certainly have; it's just that very few of them are so memorable that I'm inclined to come home and write about it. And that's what is so important about Mystique. They are WINNERS in a big way, and I want to tell everyone far and wide about my experiences there.

What follows was previously published on my other site, Travel Tips and Tricks. It's being republished here in it's entirety as it's as much a story of Customer Service as it is a must see destination:

Mystique Dining
1410 S. Entertainment Ave.
Boise, ID 83709
(208) 375 2141

Whether you are looking for a great meal, a fabulous evening out, or perhaps a way to celebrate a special occasion in or around the Boise, ID area, look no further than Mystique Dining. We've celebrated two different special occasions at Mystique, and have also recently enjoyed a third evening out at Mystique Dining. It's certainly my daughters favorite place to celebrate all of her special occasions. Dare we ask how she might want to celebrate just about anything, Mystique Dining is going to be her answer.

Your evening at Mystique will begin with an expertly prepared five-course meal consisting of an appetizer, salad, palate cleanser, entree and desert. My tastes are pretty simple, so I've ordered the Prime Rib on each of my visits. But as I look around the table at the meals of other guests, and sample the plates that my more adventerous wife has ordered, all of the menu choices are quite excellent. Oh, and the cheese cake? Well, I've never really been a fan of cheese cake; but I must say that I enjoyed it completely on each of my visits. It's just that good.

While it's hard enough to make a single choice from their most excellent menu, choosing your magician is a more daunting task. They're all excellent, and you'll be forced to choose just one of them for your special evening.

On our first visit we enjoyed the magic of Farrell Dillon, and I imagine that he is easily the best of the best for the small children in your family. My daughter is 8, and she was completely enamored by his performance. Mr. Dillon was excellent not only at including her in his show, but also with the opportunities for photo's and social interactions after the show. I can't recommend him enough. His personality is infectious and you are certain to remember your time with him for a very long time indeed.

Our first visit to Mystique was a surprise for all of my daughter's hard work in achieving the rank of !st Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. Our second visit came to be when she asked me what she could have if she brought three gold medals home from a tournament in Salt Lake City. I asked her what she wanted, and she very quickly chose Mystique. Afterwhich she went to Salt Lake and proceeded to bring home five medals.

We allowed our daughter to pick which magician she wanted to see for her special evening out and she chose Andrew Goldenhersh. Unfortunately, a scheduling error on the part of Mystique resulted in us being unable to see Mr. Goldenhersh that evening as he was more than 800 miles away celebrating his birthday with his family. And as talented as he is, he wasn't able to be in both places at once. My daughter was quick to point out that "Mom, this is not the right magician" as she walked past the poster outside the dining chamber to be seated for dinner. We didn't want to fuss since there was obviously enough confusion going on at that moment and chose to quietly enjoy the evening anyway.

So Joe Skilton became the magician for our second visit to Mystique, and while we very much enjoyed his show, he's not quite as good with the kids as the other magicians; and my daughter noticed. Some of his tricks were duplicates of what we enjoyed in Mr. Dillons show, albeit with his own special twists and personalty; while others were completely different, and I must say, AMAZING. I actually witnessed a deck of plain white cards transform themselves into a deck of "regular" playing cards right before my eyes. I tell you, I saw them change colors while I was looking directly at them. It still boggles my mind.

Even after the show, my daughter was kinda upset about not seeing the magician that she had chosen for herself, so the next day we shared her story with the management at Mystique, and by doing so, also with Andrew Goldenhersh. Her story touched the hearts of those that heard it and we were invited back to see the magic of Mr. Goldenhersh on another evening of our choosing.

Andrew Goldenhersh is very good at including everyone in the show, and was hands down the best at including my daughter. It's easy to think that she got special treatment because of our history, but it certainly didn't feel that way. And you can't fake the chemistry he had with her throughout the show. I mean seriously, there were times when he was laughing as hard as she was. And she later confided in us that Mr. Goldenhersh was definitely "the best" (as in, her favorite) of the three magicians that she's seen at Mystique. Our daughter was completely gobsmacked by Mr. Goldenhersh's performance.

I offer my sincere thanks to Mystique Dining and Andrew Goldenhersh; not only for their outstanding hospitality and willingness to make a little girl happy, but also for delivering on what might be considered a very expensive evening out if it weren't for the perfection demonstrated at every level of service. From the chef's to the wait-staff, and most certainly the amazing magicians I've seen at Mystique, Bravo!

FAIL: Hollywood Motors

I work for a Motor Escort Company where we ride both new and used Police Motorcycles (Motors) to do our job. So we're pretty much always on the lookout for used police motors that might be suitable for our needs. This is the story of one such police motor, and the dealer that is trying to sell it.

A friend of mine, and soon to be co-worker, is currently looking for a retired police motor in eager anticipation of becoming a Motor Escort Officer. Like me, he prefers BMW's for this job. And he hasn't stopped drooling over my 2009 R1200RT-P since the first time he saw it. So when he found this 2008 R1200RT-P on eBay with just 1,700 miles on it, I was initially as excited as he was! To think he could have a like new motor for about half of what I paid for my brand new one was intoxicating for both of us! But it was, in fact, too good to be true.

The first eBay listing for this motor is located here. And when it failed to sell for the reserve price of $12,750, it was relisted here. You can visit the pages above (while they remain available) to view the entire listing. I've included the relevant excerpts from the page for you here: [sic]

And: [sic]

Hollywood Motors was very responsive and answered all of our emails, until we asked for the VIN. There has been no answer to that request.

We can't verify whether the factory warranty is still valid (or not) without the VIN. But when I spoke to a local BMW dealer this morning they seemed to think that it was unlikely that the factory warranty would still be valid. If Hollywood Motors ever provides us with the VIN I'll update this post to include the verified warranty status, and the VIN.

So we contacted the Alpharetta, GA Police Department, the previous owner of this motor. This is the text of the two emails that we received back from them; the latter of which being from the officer that crashed the motor. [sic]

And that's the story of our first, and last, dealings with Hollywood Motors. Should you be thinking of dealing with Hollywood Motors, I must strongly remind you to "Buyer Beware".

FAIL: Greenpoint Financial

I have to tell you that I’ve never been angrier, or more surprised, by the actions of any company that I’ve ever conducted business with - in my entire life - than I currently am with Greenpoint Financial Services.

Generally speaking, when a company confirms the features of a product to me in writing, I generally feel that what is written is true, and that it’s safe to move forward if the written word meets my needs. And that goes double when the product we’re talking about is a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC). But Greenpoint Financial recently proved to me that what they write when they are trying to make the sale, and what they deliver after they make the sale, are two completely different things. Let me explain:

I was recently in the market for a HELOC that required some VERY SPECIFIC features. So specific, that I confirmed each item in writing with Greenpoint before I closed on the loan. And they in fact confirmed all the features with me, in writing, prior to closing. Having been satisfied with the written word of Greenpoint, I closed on the loan only to later learn that many of the features I required were NOT going to be available to me, despite having confirmed those features in writing prior to closing. In short, they lied to me to close the sale. And yeah, I’m plenty pissed about that. But it gets worse.

Once they told me I wasn’t going to get what had already been confirmed in writing, they started hanging up on me. And it goes without saying that they weren’t returning my calls, either. They even hung-up on my Escrow Officer at the closing table for my new loan when they learned what the call was about! And all that was while I was still being polite with them. In fact, I was still being polite with them all they up to about 10 minutes ago.

I’ve now reached a point where I no longer find it necessary to be polite. In fact, I’m in the mood to sue their ass since that appears to be my only recourse at this point – and the only way to really get their attention. It would have been so simple and inexpensive for them to avoid it altogether by either giving me what was promised in writing – or cheerfully refunding 100% of my out of pocket expenses. But that’s obviously not going to work out, and that obviously leaves me with no other option than to nail them to a cross for everything that I am entitled to.

Meanwhile, you might want to avoid a similar situation for yourself and find a different lender for your needs. Unless you feel like throwing a bone to your lawyer, too!

WINNER: DrugStore.com

Drugstore.com came to my rescue when another LOSER that I recently reported on chose not to.

They did so even though it had been nearly two months since I purchased the item in question; they did so without requesting I return the damaged item; and they did so by replacing the entire purchase, not just the broken portion that I had requested. And they did it all without a single hassle. Kudos to drugstore.com!

Yes, I should have contacted drugstore.com about my broken item first. I will shop drugstore.com in the future; and I will most certainly contact them first with any problems that I may encounter with my purchases.

Congratulations, and Thank You, to drugstore.com for actually getting it right in a market filled with losers that consistently get it wrong!

Ladies and Gentleman, we have a WINNER!

FAIL: UHAUL

When it comes to Customer Service, UHAUL has always been the bottom of the bilge for me. Slow service, poor service, and now, no service at all.

ATTENTION FORD EXPLORER OWNERS: According to the minimum wage slave I tried to rent a trailer from last week, Lawyers for UHAUL feel your vehicle is a liability risk - and they won’t rent you a trailer if you show up driving a Ford Explorer.

That didn’t stop a different minimum wage slave from renting me a trailer a month earlier when I moved half of my belongings into storage. But this story actually started several years ago.

I scheduled an appointment, more than a week in advance, to have a receiver hitch installed on my Ford Explorer Sport Trac. When I arrived, they seemed surprised. My appointment was right there in the computer for all to see, and yet the hitch installer had been given the day off. So I rescheduled across town and UHAUL cheerfully took my money – never once mentioning their Ford Explorer Policy.

More recently I needed a trailer brake controller installed on the same Sport Trac, so I scheduled an appointment about a week in advance to have it installed. And when I showed up, the same thing happened. The installer had taken the day off. I again rescheduled across town, this time back at the other UHAUL facility – the same one that screwed up in the paragraph above. They also took my money cheerfully – never once mentioning their Ford Explorer Policy.

When I reserved the first trailer, no one mentioned the Ford Explorer Policy – even though I was driving my Explorer at the time of the reservation. In fact, the guy that made the reservation for me had just spent about an hour inside my truck installing the trailer brake controller!

When I showed up to pick up the trailer I spent nearly 30 minutes in line while one person tried his best to serve all the customers that had made reservations. At one point he mentioned that nearly every piece of equipment on the lot had been reserved that morning. Yet he was the only one scheduled to work behind the counter. And that clearly demonstrates a blind eye towards customer service by UHAUL.

Thankfully, I was given a trailer that morning; and the person working the counter solo even connected it to my truck for me. Regretfully, that’s the last time that ever happened.

I used that trailer to move half of my belongings into storage so that we could list our house and start our move into our new home. When I returned to get a trailer to move those items into my new home, I encountered yet another problem: the previously unmentioned Ford Explorer Rental policy.

Now, as you can see, I’ve had quite a few dealings with UHAUL - all of them pertaining to my Ford Explorer Sport Trac in one form or another. And yet this policy comes as a surprise to me. There are no signs notifying potential customers of this ridiculous policy. No one bothered to ask me what my tow vehicle would be at the time of my reservation. I did find, with a little help from Google, a mention of that policy on the UHAUL web site while writing this article, but I wasn’t dealing with the web site when I made my reservation. I made my reservations in person while driving my Explorer.

I wish the story stopped here. But it doesn’t. There’s more.

Just three weeks ago I made an astonishing discovery while making an adjustment to my RV Hitch. The receiver hitch that UHAUL had installed for me was loose! One of the bolts had backed all the way out, hanging on, literally, by just a thread. And most of the remaining bolts were loose. UHAUL had failed to properly torque the bolts when they installed the hitch. And had I pulled my RV up the mountain, like I had planned, with the hitch in that condition – we never would have made it. A terrible accident would likely have occurred on a very nasty piece of mountain highway here in Idaho. Luckily, I noticed before actually pulling the trailer.

And that’s my tale of incredibly poor customer service, courtesy of UHAUL. Since I only own two vehicles, and both of them are Explorers, I’m reasonably certain that this chapter of my life is closed. I have no plans to sell either truck, and even if I did – I’d replace them with two more Explorers.

FAIL: Dish Network

Imagine for a minute that you own a business. Just about any business will do, just so long as you are providing service to end users who purchase equipment that has a serial number – and so long as that serial number is the key to activating the service. In this case, the service is Dish Network. But you could just as easily use Cell Phones for my example.

Now imagine that you have both good customers and bad. Some pay their bills every month. Others don’t. Some may have even been good customers for as long as, say, seven years.

Now imagine just two of those customers. One of those customers is a deadbeat that never pays his bill and his service has been disconnected as a result of that failure to pay. The other customer has been a good customer for seven-years and he has always paid his bill on time. He’s even purchased a couple of upgrades that allowed you, the business owner, to obligate him to additional years of service on his contract. You could even imagine me as the latter; as that’s the scenario I’m attempting to paint between Dish Network and myself.

I purchased a receiver at a garage sale for a bargain. I want to hook it up as a second receiver on my current dish and add it to my current dish contract. But that receiver used to belong to a bad customer that didn’t pay his bills, and there is a balance due on his contract.

Dish claims that the balance due is substantial. But I happen to know that the balance is actually about $80. Whether or not $80 is substantial is relative, so I'll let you be the judge of just how substantial $80 is. But I rather doubt that $80 is of any consequence to a company as large as Dish Network. And risking the loss of a loyal seven-year customer over $80 that you are never going to recover anyway is just plain foolishness.

And that’s what’s about to happen. Dish Network is rewarding me for my seven-years of loyal service by not allowing me to activate my garage sale receiver. They will never recover the loss on that receiver because the original owner doesn’t even have the unit anymore. Furthermore, they are going to lose me as a customer. They will lose the $57 a month I currently pay them, plus they are going to lose the 10 additional dollars that I was going to be paying them for the second receiver. They lose all the way around. And now two receivers are going to hit the trash instead of one.

Both of those receivers are potential money in the bank for Dish Network. Both of them COULD be earning a return for Dish Network. But only if Dish Network activates them for service. As it is now they are nothing more than junk that will never earn another penny for Dish Network. Is it wise to dismiss potential income and piss off your loyal customers while doing so? Obviously I think not!

But really, I should be thanking Dish Network for helping me see the light. Turns out that if I switch to Digital Cable I’ll actually get TWO DVR’s AND a discount on my current cable modem service. I’m actually going to save money and get twice the level of service I currently enjoy by firing Dish Network and replacing them with Cable One – a company that has always provided me with superior Customer Service.

Good-bye Dish Network! Your blindness to both your customers and your business model continues to elude me – but I no longer care. I’ve found a company that consistently gets it right time and time again.

Hello Cable One! I’ve been using your Cable Modem for years and have always found your service to be excellent. Your willingness to go the extra mile for me and assist me with the transition from Dish Network to Cable One is much appreciated. I look forward to your continued good service. Even as I finish posting this entry my wife is on the phone setting up a new account.

How’s THAT for Customer Service?

The Death of Customer Service

Chris Pirillo is of the opinion that Email is dead. Chivalry is all but dead. And make no mistake about it, Customer Service is absolutely dead - Stone Cold Dead. Stick a fork in it - it’s done!

When I call a US based company I expect to have my call answered by a call center in the United States by an operator that actually speaks and understands ENGLISH! Is it so much to ask that we actually keep jobs here in the United States? If I’m going to spend my US Dollars on a US Product, that’s where I want my money spent. On jobs for citizens of these United States.

I am completely disgusted with the way I get treated when I phone customer service lines and I’m not going to take it anymore. This new section of my blog is dedicated to shining the light on companies that get it wrong. And, should any one company ever get it right, I’ll be sure to shine a light on them here as well. Both the losers and the winners deserve to be recognized publicly. Sadly, I suspect you’ll mostly be reading about losers for the foreseeable future.

As you may have guessed, even as I write this entry, I have a burning dissatisfaction with at least one company that I’m currently doing business with… but not for much longer. I’m going to fire them and have them replaced just about as quickly as you can read this blog entry. And I’ll be writing about those losers ASAP! I can’t wait to share my experience with you. You deserve to know who cares about their customers – and who doesn’t. Perhaps you can avoid the same mistakes that I have made.